Jedi, Rebels, Scoundrels and more..

The Last Jedi:

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, premiered to US audiences in December 2017. Yes, it has taken that long for me to get my thoughts together on what I think about the latest installment of the Saga. First off, don't talk shit on this movie to me. I loved it. I will defend it. I will pull your hair and call you stupid. Okay, now that we got that out of the way, I can continue. Oh yeah, there will be lots and lots of spoilers. If you have not seen the movie, tread carefully. This is a pretty deep dissection of the movie.This isn't so much of a review, its more of a let me talk you through this movie and give you my opinion on it. Don't like that, don't read it. 😉 If you are okay with that, then please, proceed down the rabbit hole with me.

Whose Who in The Last Jedi:

Directed by: Rian Johnson

Written by: Rian Johnson

Cast:

Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker

Daisy Ridley as Rey

John Boyega as Finn

Carrie Fisher as Leia Organa

Adam Driver as Kylo Ren

Oscar Issac as Poe Dameron

We pick up just after the Force Awakens. The rebels are on the run from the First Order. Oscar Issac is back as the wisecracking pilot Poe Dameron. Some people didn't find his jokes to be funny. I thought he was pretty funny. I think that director Rian Johnson did something special here. He combined the best parts of Star Wars, with the best parts of being owned by Disney. He made a movie that can appeal to kids at heart from 1-99. 100 year old people will hate it? 😏 

X-Wing doing some damage

The Rebels are trying to get to a base in the outer rim.  The plan is to jump away from the First Order and reach out to their allies in the Outer Rim that they are hoping will come to their aid. The opening shots are amazing. To be honest, I saw this movie 3 times in the theater. Each time it was better than the last. The first viewing was at an Omni-Max which blew me away. The 2nd was even more intense, we saw the film in special D box seats at our local theater. If you have never done D-Box, the seat moves along to the film. It make the movie an experience. You are soaring around with Poe as he's flying toward the Dreadnought. That ship was so big, or at least I thought it was, until we see Snoke's ship. Geez, talk about compensating for short comings. Leia wants Poe to call off his attack on the First Order, but being the cocky flyboy that he is, he doesn't and LOTS of rebels lose their lives. One rebel in particular, gets maybe 5 minutes of screen time, yet we can't stop talking about her on the internet.  Paige Tico. There is a shot of Paige, its framed so that we only see her face, and the actress, Ngô Thanh Vân is just gorgeous.  There is so much emotion that we are instantly drawn to her. I want to know everything about her. Luck for us, there is a book about her and her sister Rose, Cobalt Squadron. We will see much more of Rose later. She's a cute character saddled with a sad b-story plot line that I won't go into much. Sorry Rose, maybe next time.

There is a lot of comedy in The Last Jedi and that is not a bad thing, contrary to what the internet trolls would like you to believe. Finn naked, leaking bad. Hilarious. I don't care what you say. It made me laugh, it made the audience laugh. Get over yourself and live a little. Stop being so mad all the time. Finn has awakened and the first thing he wants to know, where's Rey.  

One of the things I have loved about this series since I was little, the planets. Dreaming of far off moons and distant planets raced through my dreams. We find Rey right where we left her, on Ah-ch To with Luke.  She is still trying to give him that lightsaber. There is a lot of debate over the next moment.  Some find it to be HUGELY disgraceful, I found it to be really funny.  Luke has exiled himself on this island, here comes this girl he doesn't know, handing him a saber he doesn't want. What does he do with it? He tosses it over his shoulder and walks away.  PERFECT!

Snoke's throne room is bad ass!

The main drama in this film centers around the paths that Rey and Kylo are on.  We will get into more of Rey's journey in a bit, but let's flip to Kylo. He is in front of Snoke, who laughingly makes him take off his helmet. Kylo is a bratty little boy who is lacking a father figure. Oh wait, he had one, he just decided to kill it. Now he's being eaten alive by that decision and Snoke can see it. Damn, why am I so attracted to Kylo Ren. I don't feel one way or the other about Adam Driver, but Kylo Ren. Yeah. Thirsty for sure.

Kylo is having a little bitch boy fit about Snoke telling him that he will never reach to Vader status. Remind you of anyone? Hmmmm. If you didnt' get it, I meant Anakin.  Anyhoo, he destroys his mask in an elevator. If you don't follow Emo Kylo Ren (@EmoKylo) on Twitter, go now, trust me. I'll wait. 

You back? Okay good. Worth it, am I right? Back on Ah-ch To, Rey is trying to convince Luke that he must return with her and help the rebels defeat Kylo and the first order. Luke wants none of it. He would much rather flit around his island, milking a creature with tits too realistic for a semi-kids movie and pole vaulting for fish. Luke's daily routine is not easy. 

Rey from nowhere

Just like a stage five clinger, Rey stalks him around the island. She is determined to bring him back and she'll just annoy the shit out of him until he agrees. Too bad she hears voices like Frodo in LoTR's and decides to check it out. She comes across the original Jedi texts. She is freaked out but needs to know more. Too bad that Luke will never train another Jedi. He is defeated. A shell of the Jedi that stood before Jabba in Episode VI.  What could have happened to make him think the Jedi needed to end?

We flip flop between story lines faster than I used to flip through cable channels on bored Saturday night in high school. What? I didn't go out much. We check in with Poe and the rebels. We find out the First Order has developed the ability to track the rebels through light-speed. Leia knows it to be true. I don't know how, but she does a lot of things in this part of the movie that I don't understand. 

Ever since we found out that there was "another Skywalker," we've wondered what Leia's powers could be. Up until this point, it just seemed that she was super sensitive to Luke's feelings and whereabouts. That all changes when Kylo, conflicted about killing another family member makes the choice to NOT blow up her ship. He maybe should have told his wing-men the plan as they blow the shit out of the command deck and Leia is sucked out into the vacuum of space. 

Why doesn't anyone see it. Its my Galaxy!

We lost Carrie Fisher in 2016.  When she was sucked out of the ship I honestly thought they had killed her off. I was on the verge of tears, but I would accept it. What happened next has conflicted my poor brain and soul more than the decision of Dawson or Pacey.  We see the aftermath of the explosion and get a close up of Carrie's face.  We see her hand, drifting in space.  Her finger flinch and reach out. Her eyes open.  What the FUCK!  She's using the force to get back to the ship.  Holy shit. She's alive. What did I just see! Man that was dumb as fuck.  No I loved it. No, I hated it. No. Noo. Carrie!!!!!  It was like the day I found out that she had passed away.  It felt like a dream. It couldn't be real.  Someone tell me this isn't real. She'll get better, she has to. Our princess can't die.  Right? Unfortunately, it wasn't a movie.  There was no crazy way to bring her back.  With this one scene Johnson gave us that moment.  He gave her back to us. Sadly, he took all the other commanders away from us. RIP Admiral Ackbar.  It will always be a trap.  

Sorry Holdo, I didn't see how awesome you were.

While Leia heals, a new commander takes over. Vice Admiral Amilyn Holdo.  Laura Dern looks like she walked straight out of the capital in Hunger Games. A little later, I will tell you more about Leia and Holdo in the book I'm reading. I'm not a huge Laura Dern fan, so I immediately didn't trust her. I didn't think the tracking through light-speed was what the First Order meant, I thought Holdo was a spy. I couldn't have been more wrong. Holdo will turn out to be one of the most courageous people we will ever meet in this galaxy.

The most interesting part of the film comes when Rey and Kylo realize they are being connected by the force. They can see each other's surroundings. What could have done this and why. Oh hey Mr. Ren, how you doin! Oh, sorry. Got distracted there for a minute. What were we talking about? Oh yeah, the force confessionals that Rey and Kylo are having. Ridley and Driver have off the charts chemistry. It helps cement this strange relationship that is building between what could be the greatest light source and the ultimate dark. I'm not sure which one is which at this point.

In the late 80's, all i wanted for Christmas one year was an Ewok. Yes, I wanted to own a planet's indigenous creature. They were so cute and creepy. Once again, a Star War's movie makes me want to own a creature. How cute are the porgs? Native to the island, they make quite the impression in the film. Chewbacca is guilted out of eating a nicely roasted Porg from other Porgs. They show up on the Falcon. Later in the film one even does its best impression of the Garfield Suction Doll that graced every car in America in the 80's. 

Porgs are cute!

When the toy line came out prior to the release, the world fell in love with the Porgs. I instanly hated them. On principal. I usually hate things that the masses enjoy. Its a thing with me. Mad Men. Nope, fuck you, I don't want to watch it and you can't make me. Kendrick Lamar is the best rapper alive! Suck it! You can't make me listen. I could be wrong on both of those. In fact, I've heard I am, doesn't mean I'll change my mind and binge Mad Men. Stop saying its the greatest and maybe I'll watch it. Same goes for the Wire. Stop bringing it up.

However, I gave in to the love of the Porg. How could I not. Look at the little face. OMG! I just can't take it. 

Do we have to talk about Canto Bight? No. Good. Just know that we met a technician named Rose, she's the sister of Paige who blew up the Dreadnaught. She is tired of people trying to abandon ship. She tases Finn and then decided that she's going to help find a master code breaker that Maz Kanata leads them to. What a useless cameo. Master Code Breaker. Is that like a name or a title? Never mind, I don't care. We head off to Canto Bight. To many, this is like the podracing in Phantom Menace. I only disagree because I liked the podracing scenes. I lost hours of my life playing the PlayStation Podracing game. I'm good too! This 20 mins on Canto Bight are preachy, uninspired b-story. I would have rather spent time with anyone else. Anywhere else. BB-8 does make me laugh several times. We are introduced to Benicio Del Toro's odd DJ character.  None of this is enough to make me care about Canto Bight. Can we just get back to the island already?

Who needs a trainer!

That's better. Rey is training with her staff. She is really good with the staff, as we saw in Force Awakens. Her skills with the lightsaber need a little work. She decides maybe now is the best time to learn a few tricks with the light saber. I got a belly laugh out of her almost killing the strange fish nun type creatures - The Caretakers of the island. 

Is anyone else hoping Episode IX will find Rey crafting her very own dual-sided saber? I would even take dual sabers like Ahsoka. I don't care, I just want to see her get her own saber.

We spend more time on Canto, zzzzz. A thrilling race through the streets. A thrilling race through some tall grass. Blah. Blah. Let's get back to the real story please.

Ah yes. Its time.  Many have tried to recreate this look, but most have failed to look as damn sexy as Kylo looks to me. Yes, I'm talking about Ben Swolo himself.  Look at all that man. I don't care what anyone says.  He looks good. Yes, the pants are very high-waisted, He's owning them.

You wish you looked this good.

Once I could listen to the dialogue and stop staring at Kylo's sweaty chest, I realize he has an insightful line that sums up his character's motives. "Let the past die. Kill it, if you have to. That's the only way to become who you were meant to be." Rey doesn't understand any of that. She is caught up on why Ben would kill his father. He thinks her Daddy issues are her greatest weakness. The really are.  He got you there. She ends their psychic call and goes off on her own to the dark creepy place that was calling to her earlier in the film. She falls down into the abyss and has the strangest Force acid trip. We think she is telling Luke the story of what happened, but turns out, her and Ben are having a chit chat by the Force fire. Luke (in moment of genius practical effects) blows the cabin apart to stop their discussion.

Rey now seems to be 100 percent on the side of Kylo, sorry its Ben now. They touched fingertips, she saw a vision of his future and now thinks he can be saved. She's reeling from trying to figure out the he said / he said drama of Kylo's creation. She decides, much like Luke did in Return of the Jedi, if she turns herself over to the First Order; she can save Ben. He still has light in him, blah blah blah. Luke tries to convince her that this won't go the way she thinks, but she doesn't listen. Hey, you didn't listen to Yoda when he told you not to go to Cloud City. Every young Jedi has to fail on their own. 

Rey leaves and Luke decides torn burn this motherfucker down! I don't know why. He's moody. He's been on this island a little too long. He of course has second thoughts, but an old friend and teacher returns to do it for him. What's up Yoda. Holy shit, its good to see you! He reminds Luke of what's important. The student outgrows the master, deal with it, dry your eyes and get back in the battle.

We get a little more in the Canto story, a little with Holdo and Poe. I don't really care about either story. Well that's not exactly true. I have strong feelings about what Poe, Billie Lourde and some of the rebels are doing. I swear if she wasn't Carrie Fisher's daughter, I don't know how she got this part. She has as much energy here as she did as Winter on American Horror Story.  Check out some of my podcasts with Kahmeela over at TV Ate My Brain, for our thoughts on Winter.  Ugh.  

Anyway, Holdo has decided to keep Poe out of the loop of the plan. The rebels have been trying to stay just out of reach of the First Order's long guns and reach a safe place.  They are running out of fuel, fast.  What Poe doesn't realize, there is a plan in play that will divert the First Order's attention away from the transport pods as they make their approach to Crait. If she had clued him in on the plan, he wouldn't have made the mistake of slowing the plan down and again nearly costing all the rebels their lives.  Leia awakens just in time to stop him from completely fucking up the plan. 

I don't think I'm supposed to bend this way.

Back on Snoke's massive ship, Rey has come to Kylo and he immediately has her put in chains. This all feels very familiar. Snoke is so pleased to see her. He is almost giddy.  Everything is coming to a head on this ship. Rose, DJ and Finn have arrived to disable the light speed tracking. Rey and Kylo are with Snoke.  As you can probably guess, it all goes to shit. DJ flips on Rose and Finn. Kylo flips on Snoke, leading to the best scene in the entire movie.  Snoke was so sure that Kylo would follow his orders and kill Rey. Too bad he didn't see that Kylo would kill him. Johnson did decide to take two of the biggest mysteries from the Force Awakens and throw them in the trash. Who is Snoke? Doesn't matter he's dead now.  Who are Rey's parents? Doesn't matter they were drunk junkers who are buried in unmarked graves on Jakku.  Damn. Okay. Take that internet trolls. 

Best Part of the Movie!

Let's talk about the face-off between Rey and Kylo versus the Praetorian Guards. Are these the Knights of Ren? I don't think so, but they sure can fight. It is amazing watching these two fight together.  I am almost a little weepy. Has Ben returned to the light. Is Kylo gone? Nope. Remember what he said. "Let the past die." Kylo wants Rey to join him in ruling the galaxy. Fuck the First Order. Fuck the Rebels. Fuck the Jedi. Let the two of them create a new world order.  Hmm. When you say it out loud, it kinda doesn't sound so bad. He begs her. The little please. Oh my heart. Buzz kill Rey though, doesn't take the outstretched hand. She pisses on his vulnerability. Their inability to find a way forward causes the destruction of the past. They rip the light saber in two, each trying to pull it to them.

Boy was I wrong about Holdo. DJ has clued the first order in about the rebels escaping in smaller ships.  They've started blowing up the shuttles, bringing the rebel numbers down even further.  Holdo has stayed back on the cruiser to give them a shot at escaping.  When she sees them being picked off by Snoke, she decides to make the jump to light speed right into the ship.  It is breathtaking.  All sound vanishes as you watch Snoke's ship rip apart. She's done it.  She's saved what is left of the rebels.  They can land on Crait.

Waste of Phasma, again!

I am a little disappointed once again with the treatment of Gwendolyn Christie and Phasma. She returns, not having been smooshed in a trash compactor on Star Killer Base. However, she does not have much more to do this time around. She is a foil for Finn.  They do have a nice little fight scene, but she does not come out on top. I'm fairly certain she dies this time. Sorry Phasma, your book was kinda boring, your roles in the movies fizzled and now you are just a kick ass Funko Pop.

You would think that the movie ends here. It doesn't. The fleet has landed on Crait and now Kylo is pissed and wants to destroy them all. The cranky boy is back and wants revenge.

On the cold as shit looking Crait, we are introduced to yet another new creature. The Ice Foxes. So pretty, but I don't want one. I imagine you'd cut yourself trying to pet one. Am I the only one uncomfortable with the way Poe rubs BB-8's belly.  OH shit, that reminds me. Fuck BB-9 - what a little piece of shit.  He wasn't in the movie long enough to talk about more than that. 

Chewie's new co-pilot.

The rebels have decided they are going to reach out to their allies and call for help. They won't end here, right? Well, maybe. No one is answering the call. The First Order is coming. There is no back way out of the cave. What are they going to do. A terrible plan is formed to stop the battering ram that is coming. It really is just an excuse for a few more special effects shots and a good look at the armada that the First Order commands.

Luke has come, at the end to be with Leia. They have a very touching moment where he apologies and she understands. He kisses her softly on the forward and I joke to myself about what, you don't want to make out one last time. Ha ha. That cannot have been the plan all along. Why George? Why? 

Luke has come to face Ben. Face the mistakes he made.  In act one he makes a comment to Rey about facing the First Order:

"What did you think I was going to walk out with a laser sword and face down the entire First Order?"

Yeah. That's exactly what you are going to do. 

Luke emerges from the base, standing tall before the entire might of the First Order. Its a beautiful shot. They open fire on him. All of them. I don't know how I didn't see this coming, but they got me.  After being unhurt by the full weight of the armada, Kylo attempts to strike Luke down. They have some Uncle/Nephew banter and Kylo pouts a little more. Finally sick of the time he's wasting on Luke, he attempts to strike him down, but the saber goes right through him. Luke is not there at all. He's using Force Projection from Ah-ch To.  What! How? Neat! Kylo realizes what is happening and he just screams and screams. He's been played and he knows it. Hux who has spent this entire movie being a little bitch just looks on in glee at Kylo's defeat. He'll have his day. He'll probably just end up dying, but he'll have his day first.

Hello Benjamin!

Rey uses the force to save the Rebels and Luke realizes he can rest now. He knows the galaxy is in good hands with Leia and Rey. He fades away into nothing like the Jedi before him. Rey and Leia both felt him go. I can't wait to ghostly Jedi Skywalker in the next one. Rey and Kylo have one last force connection. He glares at her as she saves the rebels, she closes the door of the falcon in his Force Face. Ha ha. Force Face.  Rey spends a minute looking jealous of whatever is going on between Finn and Rose. Oh yeah, Finn tried to sacrifice himself to stop the battering ram. Rose stopped him, kissed him and passed out. I was more thinking about why I didn't notice the first time that Luke's wasn't really there. The hair is shorter. The beard trimmed. He is not making footprints on the red ice. How did I not notice. I remember saying the first time, did he stop for a hair cut on the way. It never occurred to me that he was a Force projection.

We end our film back on Canto Bight with the orphans cleaning out the strange horse creature cages. The kids are telling tales of Jedi Master Luke Skywalker. A terrifying creatures comes in, yells at them to get back to work and one little boy goes out in to a courtyard. Well shit! Did he just use the Force to pick up that broom.  He flashes the rebel ring that Rose gave him and looks longingly into the stars.  Cue the trolls and their endless debates on who this little fucker and his parents are. NOBODY.  He is nobody. He is only signifying that there are more force sensitive kids out there in the galaxy and that spark, that flame that Poe and everyone else in the movie keeps talking about, it will rebuild in Episode IX.

Solo: A Star Wars Story

We've all seen the trailer by now.  Right? You've seen it. What did you think? Oh you want to know what I thought. Yeah, I guess that's why you are here. I thought... not much. I am a little disturbed. A little apprehensive. A lot scared. 

I enjoy Alden Ehrenreich, he's a charming young actor. He looks nothing like a young Harrison Ford though. Don't even get me started on Donald Glover. What? Did Lando have a growth spurt at 35? Mother of Dragons, nice to see you. Don't let me down.

I am going to hold off on any other judgments until I see the film.  I kept expectations low for Rogue One and I think it might be THE BEST Star Wars movie yet.  Yeah, I said it. Come at me!

Leia: Princess of Alderaan by Claudia Gray

This Journey to Star Wars book tells the tale of a young Princess Leia.  We pick up her story in her 16th year. She has joined the Apprentice Legislature and is learning the ropes of becoming ruler of Alderaan. We start to see the story of how she became the General she is destined to become. 

The other big selling point of this novel, it introduces us to Amilyn Holdo. She's like another Luna Lovegood. She's wacky. She says the strangest things and everyone treats her like she's insane. 

I'm almost done with the book. I read slow. I get distracted. I have really enjoyed this though. I recommend any fan read it. Its cannon, so you don't have to worry about that. 

Star Wars Rebels Season 4:

How much longer do I have to wait! I am a relative newcomer to the world of Star Wars Rebels. I started watching last year and binged through the entire series in time to start watching the 2nd half of season 3.  I was on a binge high after devouring 6 seasons of The Clone Wars. I needed something to quench my Star Wars thirst. What I found was a compelling, lovely story about a rag tag group of rebels.

Ahsoka Tano became my spirit animal. I have a secret crush on Kanan (maybe not so secret now). Hera and Sabine are some of the fiercest ladies to come out of the galaxy in a long time. There is no bad here.

Ahsoka better live!

I'm wrong. The only bad here is that the show is ending. Why?!? What's going to happen to them. At this point only Hera and Chopper made it past Rogue One. I see tears. Lots of tears in my future when the final episodes air on Disney XD beginning February 19th.

I hope you have enjoyed my ramblings. My head is a scary long-winded place. What was your favorite part of the movie? Do you love Rebels as much as I do? Let me know in the comments below!

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